Halloween guide: costumes, candy and (mostly) controlled chaos

Halloween is here, the one night a year when you can be anyone (or anything) you want, eat candy without judgment and scare your friends without consequences. It’s a magical, spooky, pumpkin-scented free for all and it is glorious. But if you’re like me, you may also feel the pressure to go all out. So here’s the ultimate Halloween guide to help you celebrate big, bold and boo-tifully.

1. The art of choosing a costume: Go Big, go Bold or Just weird

Halloween costumes are basically adult permission slips for eccentricity. But choosing one? That’s where things get tricky. Do you go classic, like a ghost or vampire? Do you risk it with an obscure costume that has everyone asking, “What are you supposed to be?” or do you go for the lazy approach, say, by dressing as “an overworked adult” which involves nothing but coffee stains and a laptop bag? Maybe you can bring the laptop too?

Funny Costume Ideas for Inspiration:

• The Ghosted Texter: Just carry around a phone and look bewildered, with unread texts from people who haven’t responded since last month. You’ll be super relatable.
• 2023 Personified: A slightly tired look, holding a phone, a half-done yoga mat in one hand and a “To-Do List” that just says “Exist.”
• DIY Pirate: Fashion a paper towel roll as a peg leg or use an eye patch made from a sock. Remember, pirates were basically budget-savvy sailors so act like one.

Costume Fails to Avoid:

• Don’t Overthink It: The temptation to create the “most original costume ever” might result in people nodding and saying, “Oh, um, cool…?” Take it from someone who once dressed as “The Spirit of Procrastination” (spoiler: no one got it).
• Avoid Anything Too Literal: My friend dressed as a “couch potato” once. Yes, it was a literal couch with potato chips stuck to it. He spent half the night explaining himself to people while the rest of us just went as skeletons and witches with zero regrets.

The trick with costumes is to embrace the process and be willing to laugh at yourself. Halloween is the time to go bold or go home (though if you go as a “zombie that just woke up,” people might just think you’re really tired, which works, too).

2. Decorating your space: Embrace Your Inner Ghoul

Halloween decorating has become a sport of its own. On one end of the street, there’s a haunted mansion, complete with animatronics, fake fog and lights that make you question reality. And on the other end… there’s my place, where a lone jack-o’-lantern signals “attempt made.”

Budget-Friendly DIY Decor Tips:

• Ghost Chair Hack: Toss a sheet over a chair, put on sunglasses and boom! Instant spooky guest. No one has to know it took you all of two minutes.
• Spiderwebs Using Stuff You Already Own: Just skip dusting for a couple of weeks. Voilà! Authentic, lazy spiderwebs that look disturbingly real. Can even toss a meal on the floor for a few days just in case to invite a band of cockroaches to the party!
• Zombie Fridge Surprise: A little red food coloring in a cup of water looks like “blood” for when your guests peek inside for drinks. Sure, it’s cheap, but tell me it’s not effective!

The Fine Line Between Fun and Scary: When setting up, remember that Halloween decor should be a little spooky, but not so terrifying that you scare the life out of your neighbors. We’re aiming for “creepy, but approachable,” not “let’s get the authorities involved.” That means leaving the chainsaws and ultra-realistic sound effects to the pros.

3. Activities to Creep It Real

Once your costume’s on and your decor is (sort of) in place, it’s time for Halloween activities! Whether you’re hanging with friends, trick-or-treating, or throwing a virtual party, here are some spooky ideas.

Neighborhood Trick-or-Treating Tips

• Master the Candy-Passer’s Smile: This is harder than it sounds. Smile too wide and you’re a creepy adult; too little and you’re the grump. Go for the “casual grin” while silently thinking, “Is it too early to sneak a KitKat?” Don’t forget your vampire teeth.
• Perfect the Trick-or-Treat Greeting: You need a signature line. “Take two or I’ll call the witch!” or “Don’t be greedy, or the ghost will follow you home!” are always hits with the crowd.

Movie Marathon Magic

A Halloween movie marathon is a must! Here’s the lineup you didn’t know you needed:

• Classic Must-Watch: Hocus Pocus is not even negotiable.
• For Laughs and Frights: Shaun of the Dead or Beetlejuice. Mix in some comedy so you don’t have nightmares.
• An Actual Scare (for the brave): The Conjuring. Make sure you’re not alone for this one!

Halloween Tips for All Ages

For those throwing a virtual party, consider costume challenges (who can dress as the scariest version of a vegetable?) and themed Zoom backgrounds. Yes, it’s awkward online, but what isn’t these days? Embrace it.

4. Pumpkin Carving (or “Pumpkin Destruction”)

Nothing says “Halloween” quite like carving pumpkins or at least trying to. Every year, I aim to carve a Pinterest-worthy jack-o’-lantern and end up with a lopsided smile that looks like it needs therapy.

Halloween guide tips for Pumpkin Carving Success:

• Start Small: Consider a simple face first, especially if you don’t want your pumpkin looking like it had a rough night out.
• Marker Magic: If your carving goes terribly wrong, sharpie in a new face. Tell everyone it’s “abstract” and let their imaginations do the work.
• Pumpkin Carving Shortcuts: Skip carving altogether. Paint your pumpkin, add a hat, or glue on googly eyes. That way, you can enjoy the pumpkin without risking your fingers.

And when you’re done, don’t toss the seeds! Roast them with cinnamon and sugar for a festive snack that adds a touch of “homemade” flair to the chaos.

5. Wrapping up the Halloween guide: The Wisdom for the Ages

This Halloween guide has something for everyone: costumes, candy, spooky decor and a license to be just a little weird. But beyond the costumes and treats, there’s a simple joy in reconnecting with your inner child – no judgment, just fun. Halloween is that one night when “too much” is encouraged, and we’re reminded that a little imagination can bring a lot of joy.

And here’s the secret to a great Halloween: whatever you do, lean into it. Whether you’re giving candy to every goblin that shows up at your door, hosting a virtual costume party, or staying in for a movie marathon, enjoy it for what it is—a break from the ordinary. Laugh at your lopsided pumpkin, relish in your friends’ reactions to your ghosted texter costume, and let the spooky spirit do the rest.

After all, Halloween is as much about the laughs and memories as it is about the scares. So, grab your favorite candy, pop on a costume and have a wicked good time – no matter how spooky, simple, or silly it may be.

Hope you’ve enjoyed this Halloween guide, so use our tips and have fun!